If I'm Not In Love With You
by Alyx Hawthorne
Summary: Mikan Sakura got the courage to confess to Natsume Hyuuga her bottled-up feelings. But he refused her because he only thinks of her as a friend. Or so he thought. Is it too late to realize now what should have been his all along? "If I'm not in love with you, what is this I'm going through? If this heart is lying then what should I believe in?"
1. Chapter One

**A/N: **Finally, I've put into writing the story that has been circulating in my mind for quite a while. I know this one may sound weird to some of you guys because of some pairing. I still hope you all would like it! Stop by at the _Reviews_ section, okay? Thanks! :)

**Disclaimer: **Natsume Hyuuga and Andou Tsubasa are gods. Like _Zeus-Poseidon_ kind of gods. I just hope they're mine. But then again, there'll always be _The_ Higuchi Tachibana who really owns them. And to my favorite author, Judith McNaught, whom I got the inspiration to write stories. Love you, Judith.

Enjoy!

**_XX,_**

_**Alyx Hawthorne**_

* * *

_**If I'm Not in Love**_

_If this heart is lying then what should I believe in?_

_Why do I go crazy_

_Every time I think about you, baby_

_Why else do I want you like I do?_

* * *

_**If I'm Not in Love with You**_

**_Chapter One: Of Chocolates and Confessions_**

_**(Two years ago. 16 year olds, Senior High School)**_

Natsume blinked.

What just happened?

He stared at the empty space in front of him where Sakura Mikan just occupied a while ago. He shook his head to recall what happened.

_He was sitting peacefully atop the Sakura tree, hiding from those crazy fan girls who have been cornering him every step of his way ever since he entered the gates of the High School Division that morning and forcing their boxes of chocolates on his face, making him nauseous. God, how he really hated Valentine's Day! He didn't even get the chance to train with his teammates at the soccer field because he knew what will happen there! As the Team Captain of the Alice University High School Division Soccer Team, he has a big responsibility on his shoulders to maintain the championship to their name. He made it a point to his teammates to always train every morning and in the afternoon._

_But not today. No, no, no.  
_

_Today is different. It's Valentine's Day and they will be bombarded. He doesn't like seeing girls running around _his_ field and running _after _him just to shove on him their homemade chocolates._

_Good thing he has a hideout. _

_He went at his hideout after classes and before the lunch bell rang. He disappeared himself from those girls who throw themselves at him. _

_He was having a very peaceful time and almost slept when suddenly, this loud-mouthed, cheerful friend of his, (Yes, friend! She's the only _girl _friend he ever had. Because Sakura's determination is unwavering in befriending him and in the end, he found that she is not that annoying like other girls he knew and so they became friends since Elementary) showed up, breaking the peaceful atmosphere surrounding him. _

_But he was in for a shock when Sakura Mikan presented him a box of chocolates. And not only that! Together with her chocolates, she also presented her feelings to Natsume. God, he did not expect that! That idiot friend of his has feelings for him and kept it just now? And what does she expect? Reciprocate her feelings? No way! Natsume didn't like her like _that_. Sakura is just a friend to him. Nothing more, nothing less. She's the only girl Natsume can tolerate and now she hopes that they'd be more than that? Is she mad? No freakin' way. _

_And of course, he said it. He said that he didn't like her and he only sees her as a friend. _

"_Oh. Yes. Of course," She mumbled then looked down._

_She looked up again and he saw sadness in her eyes. _

_She smiled a sad one._

"_Sorry for disturbing you, by the way. Have a nice day, Natsume-kun," She continued and then ran off._

He shook his head again.

_'Idiot,' _He thought and he continued his peaceful sleep, not accommodating that tiny nagging feeling on his chest.

* * *

_**(Two years after. 18 year olds, College Sophomore)**_

It has been two years since Mikan confessed to Natsume. Two years since he refused her. No one knew about her confession even their friends like Ruka, Koko, Iinchou, Anna and Nonoko. Just the two of them. Except, of course, Imai Hotaru, Sakura's best friend, who always knows everything about everyone.

"You're an idiot like her, Hyuuga," She said to him then.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He growled. He doesn't like being talked like that.

"Go figure yourself," And Imai walked away.

But that was it. No one ever said another word about it like it never happened at all.

Now, as Mr. Narumi, with her usual gay costume, announced that tomorrow will be a free day for them to give way to those girls who would give their chocolates and presents to the one they admire most.

"It is a once-a-year celebration! Everyone must be happy and everyone must receive love, love, love!" He said, while circling in front of the class.

Mr. Narumi said they could celebrate Valentine's Day whatever and however they want.

Natsume, with the word _love_, suddenly remembered the events that happened two years ago under the Sakura tree. He glanced at Sakura Mikan and he did not understand how she bloomed into a fine, young lady in the past two years. Yes, she's still clumsy but not that clumsy anymore. She's still as cheerful as ever but somehow, Natsume can feel that she changed. She became stronger? Aloof? Some people didn't notice it. But he did, he just couldn't pin point what changed.

She also started to wear her curled tresses in a ponytail ever since they entered sophomore year. How his friend transformed to who she is now, he won't ever understand in a million years.

Suddenly, a knock was heard and a head poked in.

"Yo, Mr. Narumi." A voice said.

Then all of a sudden, girls gasped and squealed. It was Andou Tsubasa, a fourth year student, Vice-Captain of Alice University Swimming Team, and of course, a heart throb.

"Oh, Andou! What a surprise! What are you doing in the Sophomore Department?" Mr. Narumi asked, smiling.

Girls started to coo and giggle.

"Hi, Tsubasa-senpai!"

"Tsubasa-senpai, please accept my chocolates tomorrow!"

"Tsubasa-senpai, can I watch you while you train at the pool? With swimming trunks only?"

Girls' giggles were heard again. They continued to shout and cheer. Some guys are envious and glares at Andou.

"Hi, Girls!" He winked at them. The girls squealed.

Hotaru and some guys who aren't envious shook their heads.

_'Pathetic,'_ They thought, shaking their heads again.

Mikan, on the other hand, continued to smile with amusement at her classmates.

"Oh, I'm sorry for disturbing your class, Mr. Narumi but I visited here to give someone this." And behind him, he was holding a very huge bouquet of Holland tulips and red roses combined.

It was so huge and so fragrant that another gush of excited squeals from the girls were heard.

Mr. Narumi sighed happily and said,

"Ah, Valentine's! How sweet of you! And may I know who is the lucky girl?"

Andou just smiled at him, entered the classroom and walked.

"Actually, this is for…" He said, and he continued to walk, all eyes on him, waiting who will be given the bouquet from one of the University's heartthrob.

He stopped suddenly.

And everyone gasped.

"This is for you, Sakura Mikan." He said, smiling softly, presenting to her the very large bouquet.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

* * *

**A/N:** Chapter One is done! Holy Moley! Tell me what's wrong with this one. Or what's right. Or whatever you want to say. Sweet criticisms are okay. But positive reviews will be much appreciated by the author. Thanks a lot, guys!

For those who do not know the song, it's entitled "**If I'm Not in Love**" by **Faith Hill**. Great song, I tell you. :)

_**Leave a mark. XX,**_

_**Alyx Hawthorne**_


	2. Chapter Two

**A/N: **You guys can kill me now for not updating for so long. I'm sorryyy! I dedicate this chapter to the readers who've read this story and waited for an update. You guys are the best.

_**CaraRein**__ -_ My first reviewer! Thank you so much! I know, I also love the fact that Tsubasa is so hot I can't help but to use him as an admirer and not just Mikan's brother. Thanks for being the first! *Smiles*

_**SuperHyacinthus, Latios963, ohsnapitzallie , ABCMECBA, GAKUENALICEROCKS, asdfghjklnatsu97, fallenangel, dancedaze, anim3gurl, AoionetteBitter**_**-** Thank you so much for your reviews! You guys make me go on living. Lol. I mean, continue writing. Especially this one. Bear with me, okay? And though I'm pressured (because some of you thinks that I write well and that this story may end up great), I promise I would continue writing chapters for this story! Give me the strength to pull it through till the end through your sweet R_eviews_! Thanks a bunch!

**Disclaimer:** Oh, gotta go, guys. Higuchi Tachibana is waving at me! You know, the author of Gakuen Alice. Bye!

**_XX,_**

_**Alyx Hawthorne**_

* * *

_**If I'm Not In Love**_

_Why in dreams do I surrender_

_Like a little baby?_

_Someone help explain this feeling,_

_Someone tell me_

* * *

_**If I'm Not in Love with You**_

_**Chapter Two: Of Bouquets and Balled-Fists**_

"Please accept my gift for you, Sakura Mikan." Andou Tsubasa said, his eyes twinkling from merriment and admiration.

Hotaru felt her eye brows rose. Ruka felt his eyes wander and settle upon Natsume. Natsume felt his right hand clench into a ball of fist. Koko felt awkward sitting beside Mikan. And Mikan felt uncertain, doubtful.

"M–me?" She stuttered, pointing her index finger on her chest.

Andou smiled.

"As far as I know, there is only one Sakura Mikan in the whole Alice University. A very beautiful one, at that," He said sheepishly, pocketing his left hand.

"But–but how? I mean why?" Mikan asked in confusion, tilting her head sideways in a way that Andou found cute. And Natsume found it cute, too, plus charming.

Everyone are all ears to what was happening in front of them. They felt like they are watching a romantic scene in a movie!

Andou chuckled.

"Why else would a guy give a girl, whom is neither his friend nor classmate, a bouquet? Why would he waste his time visiting a different department just to visit and see the girl?" Andou explained, his warm smile melts other girls' hearts.

Mikan's hazel eyes wandered on Andou's face then looked from the bouquet and back to Andou again. And her eyes widened in disbelief.

"Unless I'm mistaken, are you really saying that you like me, Tsubasa-senapai?" Mikan asked, narrowing her eyes in confusion.

Andou shook his head, laughing quietly.

"You are so adorable, Sakura Mikan. I was really right," He said.

"Wh–what are you saying, senpai?"

Suddenly, Andou bent on his right knee and grasped Mikan's right hand.

"I like you, Sakura. I like you so much. You may not have noticed it but I was always there at your training at the Fencing Club, watching you parry. You're a good one, you know, and I think Sabre suits you more. We could work on that because I also fence. I was also watching all the plays and performances of the school you joined in. I also watched you teach the students from Elementary division, especially how you took a liking on that Youichi Hijiri," Andou said.

Mikan's eyes widen and thought.

_'Oh my god! He's a creepy stalker!'_

Andou understood the shocked expression on Mikan's face, and quickly explained himself.

"Hey, it may sound like I'm a stalker but don't worry, I don't know where you live nor your favorite food nor the wallpaper color in your room. I am not _that_ kind of creepy stalker, okay? I liked you ever since I saw you in that Snow White play where you acted as the prince back in your senior year in high school. I've just been waiting for you to enter college so that it will not be awkward for me to court you. So, please don't be afraid, and accept my gift for you," He said, holding the bouquet on his left, Mikan's hand on his right.

Everyone gasped and murmured.

"Did you hear that? Tsubasa-sama likes Sakura Mikan!" A classmate mumbled.

"Aww, that's so sweet!"

"Don't you think they'll look like a cute couple? Mikan-san is really pretty and smart and Tsuabasa-sama is so hot and smart, too!" Another classmate said.

"But don't you think Mikan-san is better off with Hyuuga-sama?"

"Yeah, I think so too."

"But Hyuuga-san and Sakura-san do not like each other. So, I guess, Sakura-san and Tsubasa-senpai, it is!"

And the whispers and murmurs continued.

But some of them cheered and whistles.

"Go for it, Mikan-san!"

"Accept his gift!"

"Go on a date with him!"

They cheered continuously.

Natsume doesn't know why he was feeling some kind of a tug in his chest. That familiar tug he felt two years ago, when Sakura said affectionate words to him and he brushed her off. He does not understand either why he balled his fist. He also does not understand why he wants to break all the bones of the person who is holding Sakura's hand.

Natsume closed his eyes because of the sudden emotions rampaging inside him. He had never felt this way before! God, what's wrong with him?

He was really fine whenever he saw guys swarming around Sakura because he knew, deep down, Sakura doesn't like any of them. In fact, he had never seen Sakura hold hands with any other guys! So why is she now blushing like she has a high fever? Why is she biting her lower lip in confusion (and in a cute way)? And why is she letting him hold her hand?

Damn, he does not understand why he questions himself like this! Tch. As if he really cares.

But all he wants at the moment is for that guy to disappear and he would talk to Sakura.

_'About what?' _His annoying mind asked him.

And Natsume's irritation tripled.

Mikan, on the other hand, was blushing madly of shyness from the attention she's getting from Andou and from the class.

"Darn it," Natsume muttered.

"I–I don't know what to say. Thank you, senpai. Thank you for this," Mikan said, smiling at him, holding the large bouquet in her arm, not realizing that her seatmate's, Kokoroyome, face was buried on it because it was so large.

"I'm glad you accepted it. Thank you, Sakura," Before he got up, he whispered something to Mikan that made her blush even more. Then she noddedmeekly.

Everyone saw it.

"Double darn it," Natsume said in a low, ominous tone.

Andou stood up and smiled.

"Sorry for disturbing, Narumi-sensei. Thank you, too!" Andou said to Narumi.

"Oh no! No, no! It's really okay, Andou! I was really hoping for some kind of scenes like this for a long time to spice up the Valentine of these teenagers. Thank _you_," He said, clapping his hands together dreamily.

He turned to Mikan again.

"Thank you again, Sakura." Before he walked out, he kissed the back of Mikan's hand and looked at her solemnly, his beautiful midnight blue eyes shining in a way tha made everyone though he knew a secret they do not know.

He left, leaving a wide-eyed Mikan, a very irritated Natsume who does not understand why he suddenly questions himself about his relationship with Sakura, a Hotaru with her usual blank expression, a worried Ruka who kept glancing at Natsume, a still-awkward Koko whose face was buried on the large bouquet, and a gossip for the whole year.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

* * *

**A/N:** Chapter two's done, finally! I think it's short, ne? Too short for my own good. Oh gods, sorry! I promise I'll make it up on the following chapters! So how was it? Was it good or what? I was, you know, kind of out of ideas. Don't hesitate to tell me whatever is in your pretty little mind! Any suggestions or ideas are most liked! And yes, I appreciate _Reviews_ more than I appreciate hot chocolate (with extra mallows) on cold days.

Sweet criticisms are okay but positive reviews are craved by the author! Thank you very much! :)

_**Leave a mark. XX,**_

_**Alyx Hawthorne**_


	3. Chapter Three

**A/N:** Okay, you guys can kill me now. I know I haven't updated for so long that my short hair is now past my shoulders! I was waiting for my sembreak to continue this. And finally! After those killer final examinations ans requirements, I am back here in FFn! And oh, before you shoot me with your gun, please understand that I've made this chapter long to make up with the late update and the short Chap 2. Forgiven? :)

**a-mystery-and-a-stranger, CaraRein, spica14, Strawberry's Jam, asdfghjklnatsu97, SuperHyacinthus** – You guys are the beeest! I am so happy that you are still with me. I can never thank you guys enough for your reviews. Thanks a bunch! Group hug! :D

**dokiwuvnabi** – Geez, your review makes me all go wiggly and squishy! Thank you very much for that but no, I am not a good writer. Though I am thankful that you think like that, really. Yes, I have another story about them but it's only one-shot. _"Condoms and Pregnancy Tests"_ is the title. I hope you would read and review it too! Thank you!

**ABCMECBA **– But I thought Natsume X Mikan pairing is more wonderful than chocolates! Isn't it? And hey, thanks for your idea! I would keep it in my mind. ;)

**fallenangel19**– Yes! I have another story about Natsume and Mikan. It is entitled, _"Condoms and Pregnancy Tests"_. Pervy title, ne? You can read it at my page. Please do leave a mark of you there, okay? Thank youu!

**Disclaimer:** Higuchi Tachibana and I haven't seen each other for so long and she invited me for a cup of tea in her house to, y'know, catch up. So, laters, everyone!

_**XX,**_

_**Alyx Hawthorne**_

* * *

_**If I'm Not In Love**_

_Oh why in every fantasy,_  
_Do I feel your arms embracing me?_  
_Like lovers lost in sweet desire_  
_And why in dreams do I surrender,_  
_Like a little baby?_

* * *

**If I'm Not in Love with You**

_**Chapter Three: Of Parties and Punch**_

"Hotaru, what are you talking about? You're crazy," Mikan said as she slung her backpack on her shoulders.

"I said you accept Tsubasa's offer to you. I can tell that you like him, too, though the one you really like is that Hyuuga even though he rejected you years ago. Really, Mikan, don't give me that shocked look. You're insulting my skills in knowing and finding things about other people. And yes, I've been your best friend for God knows how long. I know you well enough even without my investigating skill," Hotaru said blandly, her tone of voice was like she's just commenting a leaf was upon Mikan's hair.

Mikan stared at her best friend, like she's grown a third eye.

"What?" She asked, irritated, her violet eyes narrowing.

She continued to stare at her, wide-eyed.

"Besides, I'm really sick of the flowers and letters that we always find in front of our apartment for you. They stink. Dating someone would stop all those. Do you follow what I'm saying?" Hotaru said, arching her perfect eyebrow to Mikan.

"I–I can't believe you're saying these things to me, Hotaru Imai," Mikan breathed, shaking her beautiful brown head.

Hotaru continued to arched her eyebrow to her.

"What do you not believe? That I know what happened to you years ago with that Hyuuga? What you really feel for him then and now? Or that I'm stuck with an idiot for a best friend?" Hotaru said nonchalantly.

"I do not like, Natusme Hyuuga, for your information, Hotaru!" Mikan said with a frown, crossing her arms in her blossomed chest.

"I did not say anything about that, Idiot," Hotaru replied.

Mikan stopped at that.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just, please, do not bring that subject up. Ever. Okay?" Mikan sighed.

"Fine."

Then Mikan remembered something, turned at Hotaru and pouted,

"And hey, it's not just _my_ flowers and letters! You have your fair share there! And yes, I've accepted long ago that you're stuck with an idiot for a best friend. And I know you'll have no choice but to stick with her," Mikan pointed sheepishly, as she slung the other strap of her bag on her shoulder and looped her right arm on Hotaru's left.

Classes were already dismissed and Mikan and Hotaru are walking side by side, two teenagers emitting an aura of beauty, intelligence, and peace, oblivious to the envious and admiring stares people are giving to them.

Days after the scene made by Andou Tsubasa, Mikan's classmates cannot still get over it. And she is starting to feel exasperated because they continue to nag her about Andou Tsubasa and her and their relationship.

"Gosh, if only a guy did that to me! I'd marry him the instant!" One of her classmates said.

"Are you guys already dating? I saw you yesterday with him at the gate of the University and he is giving another bouquet to you! So sweet!" Another classmate gushed.

"Mikan-san, will you really accept Tsubasa-senpai? Have you met his friends already? Does he have handsome friends like his? Don't forget to tag me along in your dates!" And another classmate squealed.

"Mikan-chan, have you already seen Tsubasa-senpai in his swimming trunks only?" And they continued they vapid squealing.

Mikan could not take their gushing and squealing and so she stood up told them that it was none of their damn business, and walked out in front of them, her classmates whining behind her.

Now, they are heading to Anna Umenomiya's house, a celebration party for her 18th birthday.

Mikan suddenly stared at her best friend. They've been through so many things together. Ups and downs, they never left each other behind. Mikan was grateful that Hotaru could still understand her even if she's not saying anything to her.

And she still continued to stare at wonder because of Hotaru's infamous investigating skills that never failed to amaze not only her but the whole population of Alice University.

"Okay, I'll stop staring," Mikan held her hands up defensively, twitching her lips, as Hotaru glared at her.

"Good. As I was saying, that Tsubasa is good for you. I've run a background-check on him already. His father is a renowned businessman in Europe and his mother is a pediatrician. He has no siblings but he has two cousins whom he treats as his own sisters. He was an achiever though it doesn't look like it. He drives an Audi R8 modified by PR colored black. He has 3 international medals and 5 national medals in swimming. He's planning to be a doctor, like her mother. Four years ago, he fell in love with a girl named Harada Misaki and they became a couple for a year but the girl left him suddenly for school abroad, and he never had a girlfriend since then. He plays 3 instruments; Piano, guitar, cello. Sports; Swimming, basketball, and fencing. And I think, he's good for you. I said it already, didn't I? He's flawless, " Hotaru laid the information of Tsubasa Andou to Mikan, who is staring at her as if her jaw was on the floor, wide-eyed than ever, as if not just a third eye popped out in Hotaru face but also a second nose.

"Close your mouth, Idiot. I won't be responsible if a fly found its way there," Hotaru said then she frowned, remembering something.

"No, not totally flawless," she said suddenly, "His record in swimming last week in 1500m freestyle was 14 minutes and 37 seconds but two days ago, it landed on 15 minutes and 3 seconds. It means he's not focusing, or lacking thereof. And from the list of suitors of you that I have, he is one of the best bet." Hotaru pursed her lips, ending her tirade of information about the heart throb swimmer.

She glanced at Mikan, who closed her mouth already but still had her eyes opened like saucers.

A black Saab 9-5 stopped in front of them, a driver went out and opened the door for the two girls.

"Good afternoon, Miss Imai, Miss Sakura," The driver greeted and bowed at them.

Hotaru snapped her fingers in front of Mikan's stunned face.

"Are you listening to me?" Hotaru irritably said.

Mikan shook her head to clear it.

"I–You–Oh gosh, you're scary, Hotaru! No, you're creepy! I can't believe you'll do that, much less to Tsubasa-senpai!" Mikan stammered, thinking how capable her best friend is to knowing and learning everything.

_'Even without permission,' _Mikan thought and she shuddered.

Her best friend just gracefully arched her right eyebrow (again) at Mikan then rolled her eyes as she nodded to the driver to acknowledge his greeting and went inside their family car.

"Are you coming in or what? Don't think our discussion is over. We'll continue this when we get home," Hotaru scoffed.

"Bossy as ever, Hotaru Imai," Mikan rolled her eyes at her and she turned, "Good afternoon, Mr. Takenoru," Mikan smiled and greeted the Imai Family's driver.

She scrambled, then, after Hotaru and went inside the car.

The black Saab sped away, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake.

* * *

"Natsume, wait!" Ruka said as he ran behind, calling his best friend.

Natsume stopped and looked about his shoulder.

He looked at his best friend who was panting behind him, his blonde hair disheveled, his blue eyes half-closed from fatigue of running from building to another building.

"What is it?" Natsume asked casually, irritated by being stopped at a corridor full of the whispering and giggling and blushing girls.

"Aren't you going to Umenomiya-san's?" Rukas asked when he caught his breath.

Natsume wondered briefly who was Umenomiya then suddenly he remembered a certain brunette girl holding a box of goggles for the swim team with "_Umenomiya" _pasted in front of it and she was passing it on a girl who has waist-length pink hair and who smelled like chlorine and sun.

"The pink-haired? What about her?" Natsume asked Ruka, resuming his walk.

"Yep, she is Alice University Women's Swimming Team Assistant Vice Captain. Today's her birthday party celebration. You're going, right?" Ruka asked him.

"No," Natsume replied curtly.

"What? Why? I thought we're going!" He exclaimed.

"Ruka, if you want to go, then go. I won't waste my time because of some stupid party. I have many things to do and we have soccer training early in the morning," Natsume said and turned his back on him.

"Sakura will be there," He said quietly.

Natsume froze.

"What did you say?" He whispered gravely, slowly turning to him again, an unreadable expression etched on his handsome face.

"I said Sakura Mikan would be there. You don't want to miss the chance to be with her, now you won't, right? Natsume, don't hide that truth from me because I know you – everything about you – like the back of my hand. And you're the same with me. You like Sakura. You're just afraid to admit it. Even to yourself. But for Pete's sake, admit it now or you'll lose her forever to some guy," Ruka did know he hit a spot.

Natsume glared at him, suddenly very angry at his best friend for the words he'd said without apprehension when, in fact, Natsume himself cannot admit those, even unconsciously.

And Ruka just shattered his composure.

"You have no right– " He started but Ruka cut him in.

"Cut the crap, Natsume! Admit it! Stop torturing yourself and admit that you really like Sakura! It won't do you any good evading the truth!" Ruka said, irritated for the childish attitude of Natsume when it comes, and only, to Mikan Sakura.

Natsume closed his eyes, breathing hard, taking the moment to let the anger leave his body. And as if in a transformation after a few moments, Natsume's eyes which were like red, liquid fire seconds before became velvet icicles and he leveled his cool gaze at him, shrugged indifferently then continued walking to the gates, his bag slung across is broad shoulder.

Ruka sighed and shook his head.

_'Stubborn idiot,' _Ruka thought.

* * *

"Welcome, Mikan-chan, Hotaru-chan! Thank you for coming!" A cheerful Anna Umenomiya greeted them warmly with a hug.

"Happy Birthday, Anna-chan!" Mikan held to Anna a box wrapped in a purple paper with silver bow on the center.

"Happy birthday, Anna," Hotaru passed to her a box wrapped also beautifully in a pink paper with lace ribbon adorned the sides of the box.

"Wow! You really don't have to do this, guys. But, thank you!" Anna was touched by their thoughtfulness, and gave her friends another hug.

"Come on! The party has just started!" Anna said, leading the two girls on the Umenomiya's large living room and backyard where the party is.

Anna saw a friend waving at her.

"Oh, I have to leave for now! Please, enjoy yourselves, Mikan, Hotaru! Catch you later! Thanks again for the gifts!" Then she dashed off.

Mikan looked around her in amazement.

Roses of color pink and violet were strewn together, making a large arc in the backyard. Chandeliers of teardrop diamonds hung on the living room, and pretty lanterns with different colors were thatched everywhere. Dancing lights and sounds gave life to the party. A very long refreshment table with different cuisines and drinks is on the side. Everybody, who donned semi-formal clothes, are having fun.

"Wow, this place is so really great! Anna and Nonoko did a good job!" Mikan whistled.

"Come on, let's go the refreshments table, I'm thirsty," Hotaru said then waded her way to the table at the center with Mikan following her.

She was choosing a drink whether a diet cola or pineapple juice when she felt a soft air whiff against the sensitive spot on her ear.

A shudder run through her.

She heard a low chuckle and turned around, and found a pair of midnight blue eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Oh, Tsubasa-senpai!" She gasped.

"Good evening, Mikan. And may I say you look lovely more than ever," Andou complimented, eyeing her from her long brown hair tied up in an elegant chignon with emerald studs to her gold sabrina blouse and her black silk pants that hugged every curve in her body (Mikan permitted him to call her on her first name days ago, by the way).

Her cheeks reddened.

"You look very handsome, too, senpai." Mikan shyly said.

Andou's blue eyes momentarily widen then it warmed. He chucked Mikan under her chin, and said thank you.

"Do you want to try this one? This tastes great," Andou gave her a glass with rainbow liquid swirling inside.

"What is this, Tsubasa-senpai?"

"It's called a punch, Idiot," Hotaru said in answer to Mikans questions, sipping a glass with the same color.

"A punch? You mean, there's alcohol in it? Why are you drinking, Hotaru! Stop!" She was shocked when she saw Hotaru drinking the offending liquid.

"As if this would kill me. If you don't want to drink this, then don't," And Hotaru continued sipping her glass of punch then got a plate of crab roe.

"Yeah, Mikan. This is okay. It would start to get bad if you drink a lot of it. But if you only sip once in a while, it would be okay," Tsubasa said helpfully.

Mikan accepted the glass, though she's still unsure.

She started to sip. Then her eyes widen in surprise. The she drank the glass, bottoms-up.

"Hey, hey! Don't drink it like that!" Andou admonished.

"It tastes great, Tsubasa-senpai! Like bubble gum! Are you sure you this has alcohol in it?" Mikan asked, puzzled, smacking her lips together, tasting the bubble gum.

"Yes, it has. But don't drink too much or you'll regret it in the morning," Andou said, his lips twitching with amusement.

"Oh, really? Of course, I won't. Thank you, Tsubasa-senpai," Mikan smiled at him.

"Hey, call me Andou, will you? It feels like I'm very old when you add _–senpai_ in my name." Andou requested.

"But, you know how awkward it is, Tsubasa-sen – " Andou cut her off with his forefinger.

"Hush, Mikan-chan. I want you to call me by my name. I permit you to do so, okay? I already did weeks ago. Please." Andou smiled then looked over Hotaru Imai.

"Good evening to you, too, Imai-san. May I borrow Mikan for a dance?" He asked Hotaru politely.

Hotaru liked the way Andou Tsubasa asked her first before dancing with Mikan, it was like he was asking for her permission.

And why should she not give it? She herself was nagging Mikan to accept Tsuabasa's affection.

"Just don't let her trip you and make her look more idiot," Hotaru replied nonchalantly, spooning another crab roe.

"Hotaru! I can dance, you know!" Mikan huffed exasperatedly at her best friend.

Andou chortled amusingly then said,

"Do not worry, Imai-san. If that happens, I won't let Mikan look like that alone. I'll be with her." Andou said graciously, winking at Mikan.

Hotaru's head tipped sideways, the corners of her mouth curving slightly.

Mikan blushed more.

Andou offered his hand to Mikan.

"Dance with me, Mikan," He earnestly said, his midnight blue eyes mirroring the chandeliers in the room, making his eyes look like sapphires.

Mikan smiled warmly at Andou's.

"Yes,"

And Mikan let herself be led at the dance floor.

* * *

"Wow, Umenomiya's party is a blast!" Ruka said in bewilderment, eyeing the full-packed house with students from the Alice University. Just as he thought, everyone was dressed semi-formal. All around them, everyone is laughing, drinking, some were smoking and having a dip on the pool.

"I am so glad we made it here! Come on, Natsume! Let's get this party rockin!" Ruka exclaimed, tugging an indifferent Natsume beside him.

As they entered Umenomiya's porch, everyone started to whisper.

"Isn't that Natsume Hyuuga? I cannot believe I would see him here!" A girl said to her companion.

"Holy mother of Gucci! He is so gorgeous I can't believe he is real! And Nogi-san, too! He looks like a prince charming off a fairy tale book! Oh my!" Her companion gushed.

"What are you saying? I heard Natsume Hyuuga never attends parties. They say he hates them. It would be the end of the world if he–Oh my gosh! He really is here!" Another girl squealed then spread the news to her friends.

Soon, the roomful of people knew that Natsume Hyuuga, the legendary Alice University Soccer Team Captain who got the position even if he is a sophomore, the genius, the breathtakingly handsome, was at a college party.

"Oh, Hyuuga-san! So, it's true you're here! Thank you very much for coming! And to you, too, Nogi-san! I never dreamt you guys would be here but nonetheless, I am thankful." Anna said to her guests, smiling.

"Hello, Umenomiya-san. Great party! Happy Birthday!" Ruka said and then gave her friendly hug and Anna responded graciously.

Natsume curt his head towards Anna for greeting.

Anna Umenomiya just smiled friendly with the same equanimity.

"Thank you, guys, for coming and I hope you enjoy it! The refreshment table is over there. I have to go now and attend to my other guests. See you around, Hyuuga-san, Nogi-san!" Anna waved and dashed.

"Come on, Natsume!" Ruka urged her friend who is completely indifferent with everything.

He caught Natsume looking around the vast room.

'_Ah, the lovelorn swain. Probably looking for Sakura,' _He chuckled to himself.

Natsume glared at him, knowing fully that Ruka had just read his actions.

"What? Not my fault that you are so transparent," Ruka said enjoying his annoying antics to his best friend.

They were walking over to the refreshment table when Ruka finally caught sight of Mikan.

And she was not alone. Moreover, she was encircled in another guy's arms. The guy who went to their classroom before and pronounced his undying affection to Mikan weeks ago.

_'Uh-oh,' _He thought, thinking of a way to lead Natsume away from the dance floor so he won't see the view. When he looked over his shoulder, he saw that he was too late.

Natsume stood frigidly beside the refreshment table, his arms clenched in his side, his crimson eyes were hard, his mouth is set in a grim line. Outside, his body emanates an aura of bored distaste.

But Ruka knew better.

He saw the deadly glint lurking at Natsume's crimson eyes that is screaming murder.

* * *

Mikan and Andou were oblivious to the chatters and gossips around them. They danced and swayed against the music, their bodies perfectly in rhythm.

_'It has been so long since I last danced like this. When was it?' _Mikan thought. Then she remembered that night when they were still in Elementary. It was the Christmas Masquerade Ball and Mikan found herself dancing with a graceful partner who is wearing a black cat mask. Her partner's hands encircled her small waist and pulled her against his frame. Then they danced, and Mikan forgot the whole world. Only to find out he partner was Natsume Hyuuga. Maybe that was the first time she admitted that she really liked the genius guy and–

She checked herself mid-stride.

_'Okay, Mikan. What the heck are you doing? I thought you are over reminiscing about that? You finally found the courage to put everything behind, right? And start anew? Yes, you've been doing that for two years, for goodness' sake! Now pull yourself together and focus!' _Her sub-conscious reprimanded her.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Andou said, his smiled questioningly.

"Ah no, I-uhm, was thinking you're a great dancer, Tsubasa–I mean, Andou." Mikan corrected herself when she saw Andou's soft reprimand in his eyes.

"Thank you again for a compliment. Are you thirsty? Wait, I put our drink somewhere here. Ah, here it is. Drink, Mikan," Andou gave her the glass of punch then settled his arm around Mikan's shoulder.

Mikan graciously accepted and she did not mind Andou's arm around her shoulder. Maybe it was the effect of the punch. Her mind felt a bit woozy and her vision is somewhat clouded. But Mikan knows her limit and she can feel she's far off from it.

While sipping, she let her eyes wander around the room.

_'Anna's party was totally a blast! I'm so happy for her,' _She thought, started to sip her punch again, and almost dropped her glass when her brown eyes clashed with those of crimson.

The crimson eyes which looked murderous at the moment.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

* * *

**A/N: **Oh, my Goodies and Guccis! Finally done with chapter three! I hope the chapter was enough to make you guys forgive me for not updating for so long? Am I forgiven? Please, say yes! And because it is finally our semestral break, I may have to update faster now. You will still be with me, right? Oh, that's great! ;)

PS: **dancedaze **and** maria** - Hi, guys! Yes, Andou is really Tsubasa-senpai's first name. If you want to confirm it, you can go at the website below and read the information about him. Actually, his first name is really spelled like _Andō _but it is also okay with _Andou_. ;) I think it is customary in Japan to use the last name and add the _senpai_ there. Like in my other favorite anime, Tennis no Oujisama, the tennis regulars' names are Fuji-senpai, Momoshiro-senpai, etc. Thought that was their first name but I learned Fuji's name was Syuusuke and Momoshiro's name was Takeshi. So, I think they really use first the surname. :) Site name: www {dot} crunchyroll {dot} com {slash} library {slash} Tsubasa_Andou

Thanks again, everyone! And again, sweet criticisms are okay but positive reviews are craved by the author!

**_Leave a mark. XX,_**

_**Alyx Hawthorne**_


	4. Chapter Four

**A/N:** Ohohoho! I missed you guys! Did you miss me? Nah, it's okay if you don't. But I'm still glad that you're here, reading this update! Wohoo! A biggg hug for you! :) Oh, and because my dream last night was this story, (it gave me an idea what to do next! 'Cause, you know, I'm kinda having a writer's block. And yep, I dream about anime characters,) I present to you this new chapter! Yay! I love you all so soo much for not giving up! I can die from happiness now. Haha! By the way, this chapter's on our dearest Mikan's point of view. Hope you like it!

**ABCMECBA, luna, victoriacarlson11, Vegie-1526** - Thank you so much for your reviews, guys! I mean, I know how kinda hard it is to click the _review_ button and type in some sentences ('cause I bet you guys are just using your right hand only, scrolling down the stories and stuff and your other hand is perched upon your chin, right? Haha) but I'm so glad you guys did! Group hug, pleaseee! :D

**spica** - Nah, I promise I will finish this story! For you guys who are not leaving this story, I am really thankful! And yep, Tsubasa-senpai's first name is Andou. Well, if you'll notice in the anime, Misaki-senpai calls him _Andou_, right? And you can also visit the site I mentioned above and see his information. Thanks!

**dokiwuvnabi** - Hey, my friend! Glad you liked my one-shot GA fic! That was my first ever one-shot so I'm kinda having these doubts whether it's good or bad. Or worse. Huhu. Anyways, really? I did some research and I found out that Tsubasa-senpai's first name was really _Andou._ Ugh, so confusing. But, hey, thank you for all your kind words! I'm really glad I have someone like you around to give me some "heads-up". Thanks so much!

**I Am Awkward** - Isn't Natsume cute whenever he's jealous? Hihi. Glad you liked my portrayal of Tsubasa-senpai! And thanks for your review, too! Please continue doing so! Yay!

**asdfghjklnatsu97** - Yup, you're welcome! Aw, sorry for the cliffy chapters! But I'm happy it makes you more exciting! That's what I want my readers to feel! And telling that to me just made my day! Yeah, me too, college is definitely a pain in the ass but I promise I'll do my best! Thanks!

**crying-clouds** - And your review just made my whole week! Haha! Thank you so much! I do hope you'll continue following this story till the end!

**CaraRein** - You like my Tsubasa-senpai in this story? Oh, thank you so much! I mean, I thought my pairing was weird, you know, 'cause the normal is Natsume-Mikan-Ruka. So happy to hear you appreciate my Tssubasa-senpai! Hihi. And yep, I just made the previous chapter longer to compensate the long update and short chap 2 'cause I want you guys to feel loved! My writing is not flawless, but thank you so so much because you thought it was! Will do my best to keep it up!

Thank you to all my dearest _Readers_! Even if some of you are anonymous, I still extend my love to you! Keep it locked and loaded, okay? Enjoy! :)

**Disclaimer:** Because last night, in my dream, Higuchi Tachibana and I were talking about some new plot and twists to add in her manga. And then I asked her. Just when I'll hear her answer about what will happen to Natsume, my mom woke me up! How frustrating, right? Well then, laters, HT!

_**XX,**_

_**Alyx Hawthorne**_

* * *

**_If I'm Not In Love_**

_And If I don't need your touch,_

_Why do I miss you so much?_

_If it's just infatuation,_

_Then why is my heart aching to hold you forever?_

* * *

**If I'm Not In Love With You**

_**Chapter Four: Of Heated Conversations and Hot Kisses**_

**Mikan's POV  
**

I almost dropped the punch glass I was holding when I saw those strange, and scary if I may say, glint from his crimson eyes.

I mean hello? Have you ever known a person with red eyes? A vampire, maybe? Okay, forget I said that. But I tell you, when you see genuine, red eyes, it's soo scary. But when you learn the pair of red eyes belong to a certain someone, well, you gotta love it.

Wait, what the hell am I thinking? Did I just really say that Natsume have beautiful red eyes?

I bit my lip. Ugh. Not good, Mikan, not good.

I blinked, surprised at that look. When I turned to his eyes again, the strange, dangerous glint was gone. I blinked again. Did I just imagine that? I shook my head to clear the cloud in my vision. Maybe it's the punch. Psh, I am such a low-tolerant.

I looked at his direction again and saw that he and his best friend, Ruka, were heading our direction.

Pull yourself together, Mikan, I whispered to myself.

I straightened and smiled.

"Hey, Natsume-kun," I greeted.

He just deeply looked at me, as if scrutinizing what my eye color is or if I have grown an extra head. I found myself fidgeting under his crimson gaze.

Then Tsubasa-sen – I mean Andou, spoke.

"Wow, if it isn't _the_ Natsume Hyuuga. Surprised to see you here. Heard you never give a flying freak on parties. Andou Tsubasa," he smirked good-naturedly, extending his left hand, his right arm still about my shoulder.

I looked at Natsume and I saw he looked at Andou's hand as if discerning it if it is a hand or a part of a bullfrog's face, then he just shrugged the friendly greeting Andou offered.

"Hn," was all he said.

I felt myself getting irritated at his arrogance.

Why of all the rude...! I thought. I was about to give Natsume a good kick in the shin when Andou laughed and shrugged what happened, as if it did not offend him.

Well, I could see that it did not offend him a bit. He seemed amused, rather. I looked at Natsume's reaction and he seemed a little bit irritated by Andou's unaffected disposition.

He ran a hand through his messy, raven hair and he pocketed his other hand on his jeans. That was when I noticed how good he looked on a pair of black tee with two buttons undone giving a preview of his muscled chest, jeans, leather jacket, and sneakers. He looked so casual but the way he handled his outfit, well, let's just say he cast the other men on the shade. And to think he was not wearing a semi-formal but still he looked so good and-!

Halt your thoughts, Sakura! I yelled at my subconscious. What the heck are you thinking? Are you mad?! Okay, you have to get away from him as far away as possible.

Yes, that's it. He is making me uncomfortable and I found it singularly unpleasant. I thought, irritated by my unexpected behavior.

I turned to Natsume and said,

"Well, I hope you guys would have a good time. See you around, Ruka, Natsume-kun!" I smiled, waved and was about to head off to the opposite direction of the living room, when suddenly, I felt a tight grip on my arm. A warm tingle shot up my spine and I don't have to turn around to know who it was.

It has been a long time since he touched me. The last time was a year ago, maybe, when I tripped on the main building's second floor and he just grabbed my waist to prevent me from falling to my death. That familiar tingle was present then, when I felt his touch. It still does now.

Natsume and I are just casual friends. We sometimes hang out because we have the same friends but it did not mean that we were close.

Not after what happened that fateful day under the Sakura tree, when I got this stupid courage to stupidly confess to him.

Oh well. Past is past now. Right? Right.

Still, I looked about my shoulder, saw Natsume hovering beside me and asked,

"What? You need anything?" I asked, sipping my bubble gum punch unaffectedly, as if his touch did not mean anything to me, did not just made me reminisce the old, stupid days.

He opened his mouth to say something but then I saw his dark frown at the glass punch I was holding.

Whoa, wait. Why is he looking at my glass as if he wants to break it to a thousand sorry pieces?

"You are drinking a punch? Don't you know there's alcohol in it? Enough alcohol to make you go out of your mind? Huh?" he bellowed.

I was surprised at his tone of voice. He sounded like I was sipping some forbidden drinks, and the way he said it, he kind of made me feel stupid, honestly.

I looked at the glass I was holding then looked back at him.

Raising my eyebrows, I said,

"Yeah I know that it has an alcohol content and no, you are not my mom so you can now quit acting like one," I said to him, straight-faced.

"Hyuuga, that's not nice. Apologize to her," Andou quietly said beside me.

I saw his expression tightened.

He suddenly grabbed the glass from my hand and carelessly handed it to Ruka.

"Are you stupid or what? God knows you have a low-tolerance in alcohol! What if you get drunk? Didn't you think of the danger you're getting yourself into? Don't you know date-rape? Don't you know anything about those things when you indulge in alcohol? I can't believe you're so dense!" he raged, his red eyes flashing.

To say that I was fuming mad was an understatement.

I felt Andou's hand restraining me but heck, Natsume Hyuuga just carelessly announced to everyone that I was like a wimpy, dumb sissy!

How dare he lecture me about alcohols and the danger I'm getting myself into! He's mad! Quite mad!

Andou was about to say something when I saw Natsume glared at him.

Clenching my fists at my side, I said in my most lethal voice,

"For your information, I am already eighteen and I am capable of taking care of myself. I don't need a pompous jerk like you telling me to take everything slowly because newsflash, Hyuuga, I don't give a damn if I get drunk because you know what? I trust my date won't do anything to me. And if that surprises you, well, open your eyes because there are still guys who know how to respect girls," I said, my voice was low and soft but one cannot miss the dangerous edge in it.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a party to attend to and have fun to. I have no time for senseless conversations with people who do not have the word 'respect' in their vocabulary," and with that, I tugged Andou's hand in mine and we both exited the claustrophobic living room.

* * *

I was walking away from that living room, Andou was still on my tow. I am really glad he's not talking to me, just offering me a companionable silence. Maybe he understood how I really need a quiet, peaceful place, after that fiasco with Hyuuga.

"I'll just go to the washroom," I murmured at Andou. He nodded understandingly and I rushed off to the washroom at the second floor.

I opened the door and a peaceful atmosphere welcomed me.

I stood in front of the sink, looking at myself through the mirror, remembering what happened downstairs, wondering where I got the backbone to retort at him that way.

I know everyone in the party was there watching us. Maybe they were thinking how a girl like me could give a cold shoulder to the most sought-after freshman (or guy) in the University.

And if his fan girls hate me for embarrassing their prince, well now, I don't care. Natsume and I have been friends but I never saw him act like a jerk like that. Well, maybe that one day at the Sakura Tree years ago but I don't care about it anymore. I learned and accepted that all he'll ever think of me was his friend. Nothing more, nothing less. And I was trying, really trying, to get used to it. And I succeeded. For two years, I learned to put him at the recesses of my mind, thinking it was all just an infatuation, and that maybe, I'll meet someone in the future and make me forget him.

I must say I did a really good job in forgetting him. And thanks to that rejection, I learned to become stronger. Everyone says that I am strong since the old age. But they did not know the heart ache I've been through. But it toughen me up. Thanks to him, I felt this new strength in me strangely bloom.

I was okay. He was okay. We're okay. We're casual friends.

I sighed and leaned on the wall next to the hand dryer, looking up at the painted ceiling as if the answer to my next question would magically appear there.

Why in heck is he acting like that now? Like... Like... He really cared about me?

I really don't want to think like that. I don't want to assume. Ugh, I hate that word: _assume._

Look where it got me when I assumed I have a special place in Natsume Hyuuga's heart. Just because I was the only girl he could tolerate doesn't mean he likes me. Silly me to think otherwise.

And like I said, we were just friends for less than seven years now and not once he acted like that. He did not care what I see, what I say, what I do in general. I mean, I am the only girl he has for a friend but that's where it ends. He talks to me when it's needed, he gives me his attention when it's needed, he listens to me when needed. Casual friends is the perfect label for our relationship.

I looked up at the mirror and at my reflection. I realized that my bun was loosening. Reaching for my pins, I twirled it carefully, put it on my nape, and secured the pins again. And I sighed heavily.

Casual friends, I thought again. He never gave a damn. Why freak out like my mom now, seeing me drink alcohol?

I groaned, realizing I was standing inside a washroom for nearly ten minutes without doing anything.

God, he is so frustrating and he's so hard to understand! Why is he so hard to read!

I grunted heartily when another realization hits me.

Why am I frustratingly thinking of him? You are so going out of your mind, Sakura.

_Focus, Mikan, focus. Pull yourself together. Put unimportant things at the back of your mind. Forget and move forward. _I said to myself.

I straightened my shoulders, carefully tucked my blouse in my high-waist silk pants and went outside again.

And it was not long before I realized that the mantra I've been playing over and over again was the same mantra I had on my mind, two years ago exactly, when I was trying to forget a certain raven-haired guy because he made me feel vulnerable then.

And I haven't realized that the dormant feelings I thought I buried so deep for him, (so deep I thought it wasn't there anymore) is surfacing again.

Just because he made that scene downstairs? Just because he held your arm? Just because he sounded like he cared? It only happened for less than ten minutes, for goodness' sake, but the feelings you buried and forced to forget for two years are now proving to be in vain!

I closed my eyes.

Oh god, no.

* * *

"Want to go home now?" Andou asked me, as I stepped beside him walking back downstairs. I was really touched by his concern.

I smiled at him and thanked him and told him I was okay and that we still have a party to blast!

"The night is young!" I said and together, we went downstairs.

Back to the living room, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw no sign of Natsume Hyuuga.

Hotaru handed me again a punch and I gladly drank it. Hey, don't worry, I may seem a bit clumsy to other people but I know my limitation.

Andou, Hotaru, Nonoko, Anna, and I walked at the dancefloor and danced our hearts out for like a whole hour. We grinded our hips, twirled, laughed, and swayed to the music. It was really awesome. I can feel the stress I accumulated in the past weeks from school dissipating, leaving a weak but happy me. We drank and laughed and danced until I felt woozy and tired from it all. Honestly, I hate smoky places and the Umenomiya living room is now crowded with people, sweat, and smoke. And I haven't realized it because I was having so much fun!

But everything was catching up on me now, and I suddenly craved for fresh air.

I'll go to the bathroom first, I decided. Then have some ice-cold water or Alka Seltzer to calm my dizzy nerves then have a breath of fresh air at the backyard.

Happy with my decision, I excused myself to them. Hotaru, sensing my discomfort, asked me if I want company and I said no, I'll be fine.

I could see that they were all having fun and I don't want to take away my friends from it. I waved and said I'll be back as soon as I can.

As I waded my way, some people from the party offered me their drinks and I politely said no. I can feel myself reaching my limit and I don't want anyone's night be ruined just because they have to take care of a drunk Mikan. Nope, thanks but no thanks for the offer.

A few minutes after, I emerged from the bathroom. I then waded myself back downstairs, thinking where was the other refreshment table was located. I remember Anna telling us that the other refreshment table serves ice-cold water, Alka Seltzer, Oasis, coffee, and other drinks mainly to stop dizzy spells from drinking alcohol.

Hmm. Where was it? I cocked my head to one side, trying to remember Anna's words.

Oh, the kitchen's connecting room! Yup, I think I was right. Humming slightly to myself, I made my way through the throngs of people. Geez, they're making my head spin more. Must find the Alka Seltzer soon, to be sure this slight dizziness stop.

I entered the dimly-lit connecting room and saw a couple of people making out. Some against the counter, the shelf, the wall, the couch... And that was what stopped me from my tracks.

On the one couch was Ruka Nogi, sleeping (probably from too much alcohol, I thought) and snoring softly, a girl was clinging on his chest, also asleep. I winced at their position.

Oh well. Not my business. I was about to return to my task of finding the Alka Seltzer, when I saw him. On the opposite couch of Ruka's. And no, he was not asleep like his best friend. In fact, he was...

I felt my eyes widen at the sight.

I saw Natsume Hyuuga hotly making out with someone. So hot it makes me blush from my gold heels till the brown-gold roots of my hair. The girl's legs were wrapped around his waist, her hands crazily touching his hair, his nape, his shoulder, his biceps, his chest... As if she cannot stop exploring every bit of him, as if he was a dream she must continuously touch so as to assure herself she was really kissing him.

Natsume, on the other hand, was gripping the girl's long gold (or was that red? Pink? I couldn't figure out because of the dim light) hair. He was kissing and nipping her neck and I could see the girl's expression was blissful, like she was on seventh heaven. I watched as Natsume's other hand slowly touched the girl's thighs up to her legs and continued drawing lazy circles on the back of her legs, as if he has all the time in the world (arrogant that he is). Then slowly, slowly his hands hitched up, and up, and up past the girl's skirt, and... Feeling my face was on hot coals, I quickly turned away from the view. I could feel the blush I had earlier was ten times redder now. I could also feel the drinks I've had for the past hour are trying to make its appearance on my mouth.

Oh no. Oh, no, no, no.

I closed my eyes.

Then I realized I was breathing hard.

Oh my god, was all I could think.

Calm down, Mikan. Calm down. Breathe.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Yes, that's right. Now turn to your left and slowly walk away. Find Hotaru and the others and forget what you saw.

* * *

I found the others still at the living room but were standing beside the refreshment table, drinking and eating some finger-food, and they asked me what took me so long.

I told them I was going to get some Alka Seltzer but then I got lost so I decided to come back here at the living room. Just thinking about THAT room was making me blush even more.

"Hey, you okay?" I heard Andou asked, putting his hand on my cheek.

I shook my head slightly and told him I was okay.

I could still feel the heat on my cheeks.

"You look so red. You sure you're okay? Not feeling drunk? You wanna vomit? You wanna go home?" he asked.

I only smiled weakly at him and told him that I was really fine.

Then I saw Hotaru looking at me with her knowing amethyst eyes. I knew from her look that she knows something happened to me. Or something _not_ happened to me.

Suddenly, I felt my knees buckled and weaken. The dizziness I was forcing to keep at bay, combined with my fatigue and the suffocating smoke from the party, suddenly crashed me in a hundred waves and the last thing I remember was a pair of strong arms catching me from behind, saving me from hitting the cold-ground floor.

* * *

**To Be Continued**

* * *

**A/N:** And another update's finished! Was the Mikan POV thing a good idea? Please, tell me what you guys think, okay? So I can improve the rights and wrongs in this story. Thank you so much! And oh, before I forget, I need your help, guys! I have another plot in my mind (and I hope you would think it's good, too) but I don't know what's the perfect title for it!

So here's the summary:

_"He is a ruthless but reasonable businessman; She is a fresh graduate but was the top of her class. Though she still has no experience, he hired her for the most sought-after job. She was naïve, and he was the seducer. She was beautiful, and suddenly, he was being seduced. He works his head off to forget; She works her heart out to keep her dark secrets. This is a story of two lost hearts finding their way back again."_

There! Sorry if it's kinda vague but I want you guys to anticipate for it. You know, to feel kinda excited what the story will be about. Heehee. Anyway, my problem is, what is the perfect title for it? **"Tell Me Your Secrets"** or **"Seducing Mr. Perfect"**? Let me know what's good, okay?

And how was this chapter? Please, feel free to tell me anything! Sweet criticisms are okay but positive reviews are really craved by the author! Thank youu! :)

_**Leave a mark. XX,  
**_

_**Alyx Hawthorne  
**_


	5. Chapter Five

**A/N: **Annnd! I am back from the dead, people! Please, don't kill me for not updating for two months. Pleaseee! I just got back from the dead. I don't want to spend anymore time there. Huhu. Anyways, **Happy New Year,** guys! How's your Holiday Season? Well, mine was okay, spent it with my family. I just got sick on the first day of the year. Fantastic, right? Then I got hospitalized from having skin rashes, and, oh, don't mind me. Sorry I was blabbering. It's just that, the first few days of this year was not really good. Huhu. Anyways, I want to thank everyone who read, reviewed and shared their awesome ideas with me! You guys are the best, I swear. I can't even. Huhuhu. Here's a Candy Cane for y'all! I know this is too late but hey, Christmas season won't end till next week Saturday ('cause it's the Baptism of our Lord). Oh yes, I'm a Roman Catholic, if you guys wanna know. :) Anyway, enough about me. Let's get down to business, shall we? ;)

**bullsh.t** - Hey! Thanks for that! I actually got the idea of making a chapter on Natsume's POV from you. Thanks super duper! And thank you for your answer about my question! Here's a gift from you! A virtual _Candy Cane_! Yay!

**dokiwuvnabi** - Thank you so much for correcting me! Will surely note it! And oh, wow, you got the original Manga? That is so coool! I wanna have one too! Haha. Thank you again! Happy New Year to ya! Here'e my gift for you! *hands over a virtual Candy Cane*

**fallenangel19** - I'm so happy you liked my **CAPT **story! That's so great! But now, I was pressured because you guys thought I make good stories. Honestly, I do not! But thanks, anyways! You're the best! Happy New Year! This is for you! *hands over a virtual Candy Cane*

**Serenity012** - thank you! Hope you'll be with me till the end! Here's my gift for you! *hands over a virtual Candy Cane

**I Am Awkward** - You really love the TsubasaXMikan, ne? Haha! I'm glad! I will try to but honestly, I'm having some problems in thinking of what would happen in this story. But I will try to do that! Here's my gift for you! *hands over a virtual Candy Cane*

**asdfghjklnatsu97** - And the answer to your question is in this chapter! Thank you so much for answering! Here goes my gift for you! *hands over a virtual Candy Cane*

**sakura-san29** - Haha! Our dear Natsume is really a pervert, ne? Here's my gift for you! *hands over a virtual Candy Cane*

**shinhwa27** - Here's the update! Yay! Here's my gift for you, too! *hands over a virtual Candy Cane*

**CaraRein** - Thank you so much for reviewing! Honestly, I can't seem to think of what will happen next. Haha. Hope you guys would help me! Thanks so much 'cause you thought the last chap was good! Here's my gift for you! *hands over a virtual Candy Cane*

**Tristeza Hermosa** - Yup, I know that now! Thank you for telling me! Here's my gift for you for the Holidays! Yay! *hands over a virtual Candy Cane*

WARNING: This is a short chapter from Natsume's point of view. Please, don't kill me if it's short! Will really try my best to lengthen the next chapter! Normal PoV on that, I think. Thank you guys! I love you to Hades' and back here on earth!

**Disclaimer:** Higuchi Tachibana. Bow. Oh, and one of my favorite writers in FFn, _Finicky. _Thank you guys.

_**XX,**_

_**Alyx Hawthorne**_

* * *

**If I'm Not In Love**

_Every time I think about you baby_  
_Why else do I want you like I do_  
_If I'm not in love with you_

* * *

_**If I'm Not In Love With You**_

_**Chapter Five: Of Practices and Polka Dots**_

**(Natsume's POV)**

_**RING! RING! RING!**_

I groped aimlessly for my silver alarm clock beside my table. After a few moments, I succeeded in reaching for it. Rubbing off the sleep from my eyes, I took a peek from the clock.

5:10 AM, it read.

I must get up now and get ready for training. Yawning, I got off from my bed then headed straight to the connecting bathroom in the room. It took 45 minutes for me to finish everything: From taking a shower, to wearing my training gear, grabbing breakfast, to driving to school.

At 6 in the morning, I'm already in front of my locker at the gym in school, getting ready for my warm-up exercises.

My life has been like that since forever. Some people may say that having a routine in your life is bad. But I don't care what others think or say. I do as I please and people be damned. It may sound selfish but I learned long ago that you cannot please everybody so why try?

As the son of a famous corporate lawyer, Shiro Hyuuga, and Japan's youngest woman-surgeon, Kaoru Hyuuga, people never questioned that with their combined neurons, whomever their child be will surely inherit those. And they were never disappointed. As much as I want to live a normal life, my parents just happened to choose a life of fame, dragging me all the way and god, how I hated it. I dislike being the center of attention, I dislike any shade of the lime light, and most of all, I dislike interacting with people. I'm fine with my few close friends and I want to stay it that way.

Since a child, everyone asks me what I want to be when I grow up. "_Will you be a lawyer like your father?" "Medicine is his destiny! Natsume will follow her mother__'__s footsteps," "I__'__m sure Natsume will choose Harvard Law School when he grows up. Or Oxford, like his father, " "Take the Neuro-surgeon field, Natsume," _and it went on and on.

Not once did these people think that I would not want to follow any of my parent's footsteps. I'm just glad that my father and mother never pressure me into anything. They told me once that I should enjoy life for them, that I must pursue whatever I want in the future. That's what I'm thankful about them.

I'm also thankful that with their combined neurons and all, I can do so many things. I can play instruments like drums, cello, guitar, and piano. I play sports like swimming, fencing, bmx, and soccer. Soccer is my most favourite of all, and with my parents advice to enjoy life, I decided that I want to have this as an extra-curricular activity. I also happen to like Chemistry, Physics, Calculus, and yes, Art. I've wanted to be a Chemical and Mathematical Engineer, that's why I'm taking up double majors now because I don't want to waste time.

I am the type of person who hates mingling with people. Surely you know that by now? I prize so much my privacy. Who wouldn't? Having famous parents, most of the time it's no surprise when you find yourself staring at a camera even while you're buying a tissue paper somewhere. Sickening.

I am just glad there are no cameras in the bathrooms at school. I would never second-thought of bombing it to pieces if they had.

As I said, I have only few friends: Ruka Nogi, Kokoro Yome, and Kitsuneme. I met them back in our diaper days and lightning may have struck then because we've been friends ever since. My life in Alice University is also a routine. I go inside the classroom, sit behind the class with Ruka and others and get out when finished. I never bothered in interacting with any of the students there because I don't see the point in doing so. And who is in his crazy mind would enjoy all those attention they give to you? Every corridor and corner of the school, you can hear people talking about you, pointing at you, looking at you, throwing themselves at you. Pathetic. To think they are college students already, that's what makes it the worst.

I did not want to go to school, really, but my parents won't hear of it. So in the end, I was stuck in this hell hole of a college until I graduate and pursue whatever I want in Grad School. People questions why I did not attend college abroad. Well, that's for me to know and for you to _never_ find out.

As I was saying, school's a routine ever since and I was more than fine with it.

And then, suddenly, something happened.

This _girl _happened.

This Little Miss Sunshine transferred to our school and started to burst her brightness to anyone who come within her sight. Honestly, I didn't like her when I first saw her. She was so loud and all smiles and then she went to me and greeted me with that annoying, bright personality of hers, "Hi! I'm Mikan Sakura! Nice to meet you!"

And then I noticed it. I blinked, drowning from it. God, her eyes seem to change colours from coffee brown to hazel to earthly brown to light brown whenever she blinks. It was unbelievable but, believe me, it did when I look at her. I realized I was staring at her eyes for a whole minute or two, looking like a gawking gecko. At that moment, I felt my annoyance coming back. I don't know where it came from but my only thought was to get away from this loud girl.

I rudely turned my back away from her and I resumed my gazing off outside the room. I heard her huffing at my side, muttering something about being rude and all. For the next few weeks, she tried to befriend me, greeting me in those bright smile of hers. "Good morning, Natsume! It's a beautiful day, ne?" she said once she sitted herself in front of me. And like every other day, I would ignore her. I was a bit surprised that she was not intimidated by my glares and cold disposition.

The next week, she became my partner in a math activity and I have to grudgingly spend an all-nighter with her in a café near our school. And then the week after that, she became my partner again in Literature. Once, she brought Howalon with her and she innocently told me it was her snack. I thought, Who would buy Howalon in high school? Apparently, Little Miss Sunshine does. Everyday, she tries to befriend me and though I wasn't acknowledging her, she seemed to not mind it.

It was on my birthday when I realized she was not really annoying and intimidating like thr other girls at school. She's loud but she does not throw herself at me, she's all smiles but she does not try to flirt with me (or any kinds of aggressive action towards me), and she's not having those stupid eyes like the other girls get whenever I'm within sight.

I found it… unsettling. Don't ask me why. I've been asking that myself for quite a while and I have no answer to that.

I was sitting on my favorite spot, the Sakura Tree, when I heard the sound of boots crunching. When I looked down, she was there, with a small cupcake (with a small candle on it?) on her hand and a big smile on her face. "Happy Birthday, Natsume! Come on, blow your cake!" she said gaily. I looked at her dubiously and told her to go away.

To my surprise, she did not budge. She said she won't go unless I blow the candle on the cupcake she had. After a few minutes, I sighed and went down. I did not blow the candle, of course, I merely took it from her hands and the wind blew it. "Thanks," I grumbled. She smiled cheerily at me and bade me goodbye. I looked at her back and I realized that no one has ever done that to me.

From that moment on, she became friendlier and, if it's possible, sunnier than ever. And, well, as much as I hate to disrupt my routine, she became my friend. She suddenly became a part of my routine. Honestly, I didn't mind.

It was that one fateful day under the Sakura Tree where that "friendship" was smeared. It was Valentine's Day. As usual, I'm up on my hiding place. Then Little Miss Sunshine went to me and gave me chocolates. Then she told me her feelings for me. Man, was I surprised. Was she hiding that she likes me all along? I can't believe she would think I would want a girlfriend. I told her that. Besides, I don't see her aside from a loud, cheerful Little Miss Sunshine.

When she looked up at me, I saw her sad smile and I felt kind of guilty. She went off, and I never accommodated that somewhat heavy feeling on my chest. Besides, I've been doing that (rejecting girls) for the past how many years of my life.

The next day, she did not greet me like she used to. She just smiled at me and took her seat in front of me. To tell you the truth, her loud greeting had already became part of my daily routine at school. Wait, I said about that already, didn't I? So, yes, she did not greet me resulting to a disrupted routine. God, how I hate messing up my rut. And that's just what she did. She did not say anything the whole day nor looked at me after the greeting that morning and it kind of... irritated me.

And that was the first time I get distracted by a girl.

Believe me, I never liked the feeling. It was singularly unpleasant. If I could only stop myself from feeling it, I would've done everything. But no. Whatever is inside me just chose that moment to feel this weird distraction to this girl. Add my annoyance level when that best friend of hers told me to go figure it myself. What? What will I figure?

Girls and their weirdness. I swear, they are the most difficult creature on earth.

One time, we're having our Chemistry class when I thought I saw a small butterfly land on her hair. Then I noticed for the first time the color of it. It was brown. With a tinge of red. And gold. I scrunched up my eyes to see more clearly. It was a weird color, her hair. Why didn't I notice that the first time I saw her, I would never understand.

Then she moved to her side, talking to someone, and then her hair glinted against the sunlight. It was a fascinating scene, to be honest. I spent the entire class period looking at her hair making different colors against the sunlight.

We were in the start of our sophomore year when I started to notice how her looks really changed. I was passing by her to get to my seat when I noticed the sunlight mirroring against the window, hitting her cheeks. My gaze wandered on her for a while.

I was kind of mesmerized.

Her eyelashes casted shadows on her face, her cheeks were pink from the cold air, her lips caught between her teeth, her hair reaching past her waist and, thankfully, not in those childish pigtails anymore, and I noticed that she became more… reserved.

When she stood in front of the class to recite her paper, I noticed that her Alice uniform seems… tighter? I narrowed my eyes, hating where my thoughts are going. It seems that the uniform is already small with her and it starts to fit her body and show her... curves. She must buy a new and larger one, I thought.

One time, while we were in Narumi's class, someone came and had the arrogant urge to give her a bouquet and ask her out.

I didn't know what to feel that time. Maybe that's the time when I realized I've been fooling myself for too long. That I do not see her as a friend but much more.

Okay, now that I said it, let's not delve into that deeper. I just want to break the bones of that Tsubasa for doing what he did.

And then that party at Umenomiya's happened.

God, I know I shouldn't really have went there even if Ruka told me that Sakura will be there. No, I shouldn't have let myself agree to that drinking contest with Ruka but heck, I was jealous when I saw that Tsubasa holding Sakura in a way I've never imagined and that tick me off to drink. I won, though, but seeing Ruka passed out on the couch and seeing swirling things in front of my eyes were not on my agenda.

Then everything happened in a blur. I was sitting in a couch and then a girl who looked really like Sakura started to wrap her arms around me and kiss me. And I knew I was lost when I saw that the girl's eyes were also brown. It is Sakura, I thought, kissing the girl in front of me deeper. It's really her.

The next thing I know, Koko was pulling me outside to the car park and when I looked back, Kitsuneme was dragging a still passed out Ruka.

And then the next morning, I had a hell of a hangover. At school, Koko explained to me how I was devouring a girl and I wanted to hit my head on the soccer field's bleachers when I realized how stupid my action was. Koko said the girl I kissed has pink hair and blue eyes.

My eyes widen. Pink hair and Blue eyes? Fuck that. Where the hell did the idea of the girl looking like Sakura come from?

I want to gag when I heard how I kissed the unknown girl and how I remembered the girl looked like Sakura in my eyes. God, I will never _ever _attend a college party again.

Realizing I was reminiscing for an hour now while I was running laps around the field, I stopped on the bleachers and took my jug and gulped a bottleful. I took out my watch and read, 6:55am. My teammates would be here any moment now. I should take a shower and change my jersey shirt. Yes, that's all part of my daily routine, if you're wondering.

Jogging back to the gym, I heard the sound of metal clashing. Fencing, I thought. I cannot mistake those sounds are from sabres being parried. The shower room of the Soccer players inside the gym are at the right side. I decided to enter to the left and see what's going on inside.

I saw two people fencing once I entered the gym. The left fencer is kind of small but is good and the right fencer has a huge built but not so good in his gameplay.

Because I also play fencing, I decided to look for a moment at the players' stance. Maybe they are from the Fencing Team of the University. I watched how the person on left parried, side-stepped, and lunged to his opponent.

Nice techniques, I thought.

The left fencer's footing was really good. It was precise. He executed the Coulé perfectly. Then he crossed-over, made a circular parry and did a Coupé. But I noticed that he was not quick enough to execute a techniques to another technique. He was lapsing. His opponent was also good but I could see that he was struggling to get out of the trap his lunging opponent was doing. I was about to walk away when I heard laughters from the fencers.

It sounds familiar, I thought.

I looked back and I saw that the fencer on the left was actually Sakura. Their bout has just finished and I saw Sakura removing her Fencing mask, shaking her hair, laughing. Her opponent was that Tsubasa-whoever. I could feel my fists clenching at my side as I gritted my teeth. Well, I could be a more challenging opponent than that guy. Then I saw that guy put his arms around Sakura and I walked away, not wanting to see anymore of them together.

I walked out of the showers ten minutes after, still unbelievably irritated by what I saw earlier. I quickly changed into my jersey shirt and shorts and ran outside. I passed by the Fencing Team locker room and I wondered if Sakura and that Tsubasa guy were still here. I was about to round the corner of the corridor when I heard the sound "bang", like someone was pushed against the lockers. Then a moan followed.

I stopped on my tracks. Wait, what, a moan? Why would I hear someone moaning in this... Oh. Maybe some couple.

Tch, I thought. None of my business, I thought as I resumed my walking.

Then I heard someone whimper coming from the locker room of the Fencing Team.

WAIT.

Is that...? I narrowed my eyes. I wasn't dreaming the sounds I heard, I was sure of it. Wait, Sakura and Tsubasa... Did they really went off already? Or not? Does that mean...?

What. The. Hell!

My eyes widened as I rushed to the room and opened it, not fully knowing why I did it (o stop whatever they're doing, maybe? Or, I don't know. Whatever), only to find…

Sakura Mikan.

She was alone, yes, I thought as I breathed a sigh of relief. And then I realized what she was wearing. Or _not_ wearing.

She was on her polka-dotted panties and... And that only.

She was holding her ankle on her right hand and on her left was her brassiere. When the door opened, I saw her look at me with the same expression I have: Surprised.

My eyes popped from their sockets and the next thing I know, she was screaming loud enough to break glasses and awaken the dead.

I quickly closed the Fencing locker door behind me and leaned against it, breathing heavily.

Oh god, did I just see what I really saw?

* * *

**To Be Continued**

* * *

A/N: Natsme no hentaaaai! Hahaha! How was it, guys? Was the 'Natsume POV' thing worked or not? I'm sorry if it kinda sucked 'cause I found it hard to write down what kind of words would Natsume say in his mind, what things, and stuff. Heck, I won't be surprised if you guys would send me straight to the Dead again. Oh, by the way, I started a new story a week ago, I think! It's entitled, "**Breathless**". It's AU, set on the 1800s on England. I love the Victorian and Elizabethan Era so much! Hope you guys would also read it! Yup, it's a NatsuXMikan fic again. I just love those two. Don't you? ;)

Anyways, thank you so much again for keeping up with me! Will try to update next week. I promise! Thanks a bunch, peoples of my heart! Again, sweet criticisms are okay but positive reviews are craved by the author!

_**Leave a mark. XX,**_

_**Alyx Hawthorne**_


	6. Chapter Six

**A/N:** I feel like a zombie gone back to life! Huhuhu. Semester is almost over but I can't help but post something for you guys. Hope you forgive me for the super duper long update. I missed you all like crazy! Thank you, thank you for still being with me! I love you all so muchhh! Thank you for being so patient! Lots of love coming from my heart X

** I Am Awkward - **That's really nice to hear! I do love experimenting other pairings too. Glad you liked it! Thank you very much!

**AnimeMango - **Love the fact that you love the Elizabethan/Victorian Era too! You're so awesome. I'm happy you liked my other story! Will try to update that one after posting this! Honestly, I already had a draft on the next chapter of _Breathless. _Unfortunately, someone took my USB. I was depressed 'cause all my drafts are there. : Hope you'll keep up with me! Thanks!

**dokiwuvnabi - **You think my writing gave justice to Natsume's POV? Honestly? Glad to hear you had fun reading this! The last part was kind of "spur of the moment". Haha. Didn't know how to end it and I was watching Pitch Perfect that time, when the girl (forgot her name) asked Anna Kendrick to sing, inside the shower room. Haha. Thank youuuuu, really!

**sakura-san29 - **Here it is, my friend! Thank you! So happy you liked the chap!

**Guest - **Thank you for your review! I hope so too that Natsume would admit his feelings to Mikan so they could be together already! Haha! Thanks a bunch!

**Mr Ruiza - **Yup, thank you for that information! Will try to edit my previous chapters about it but I already corrected this chap regarding his name. Thanks!

**Yankase - **You are so cool! Thank you for accepting mah candy cane! Thanks also for appreciating the last chapter! I know, I know. I hope it wasn't at all weird that Natsume has that kind of rut life. Haha. Here's an update! Thanks!

**Azumi Yukihira - **Oh gosh, I love that "whipped cream, vanilla, and cherry" you were saying! And for that, here it is! Thank you!

**Disclaimer: **Will never own GA. Story title inspired from Faith Hill's song, "If I'm Not In Love".

Enjoy!

_**XX,**_

_**Alyx Hawthorne**_

* * *

_**If I'm Not In Love**_

_Someone help explain this feeling,_  
_Someone tell me..._  
_If I'm not in love with you_,  
_What is this I'm going through?_

* * *

**If I'm Not in Love with You**

_**Chapter Six: Of Sweetness and Sexy Dances  
**_

**Mikan's POV**

I never wanted to die, never wished to, in my whole 18 years of existence. Why would I? I have so many dreams and goals in life that I want to achieve first.

But no. Not this moment. No, no, no.

I closed my eyes and hoped that this was all a dream.

Please, please, let this be a dream, I whispered. Please, Mikan, wake up. Natsume did not see you naked and – My eyes shot open and I bit my lip so hard I felt the taste of iron on my mouth.

I looked down and saw my brassiere still on my hand, shaking. Ugh, no. My hand was the one shaking like crazy.

Wait, what in hell just happened?

I closed my eyes and tried to remember what happened a few minutes ago.

I had an early morning training with Tsubasa. So after my fencing bout with him, I went to our locker to have a quick shower and change into fresh clothes. I went out of the shower room, grasped for my underwear hanging just outside the shower room and wore it, brassiere on my left hand. And then I remembered I forgot to take out the clothes in my locker. So I walked towards mine. I was not really conscious walking around half-naked in our locker room. Of course, I was the only one in there.

I was halfway to my locker cabinet when suddenly my ankle hit this metal box lying around. I gasped in surprise. Just imagine how it hurt. I looked down on my foot and whimpered.

It was swelling. Oh great. Just great.

With a force, I kicked again that freakin' metal box and cursed my teammate, whoever owns that. The metal box crashed against the lockers with a _bang_. I tried to walk to the nearest locker bench on my left and slumped myself. I looked down again and groaned.

Oh god, how it hurt. I must find an ice bag now. Can't afford to have myself injured. Ranking for the Nationals will be in less than two months and I have to stay fit to be in.

I was feeling the swell on my ankle with my index and middle finger when suddenly the door burst open. I looked up in surprise to see Natsume Hyuuga standing in the doorway, heaving quick, little breaths, like he just had a marathon. I noticed how the jersey he has on was sticking to his well-built body, his hair messed up in that annoying, attractive way.

I was about to ask him what he was doing in the Fencing locker room when the Soccer's are on the other side when I saw his red eyes widen, a comical expression on his face. He looked like a gawking fish just out of the bowl.

If it weren't for what I've realized then, I would have laughed at his expression.

The idea of what was happening, or more like what he saw, dawned on me so sudden that it didn't matter to me that I was screaming my lungs out so hard I must have awakened the ghosts of Tokyo.

Not that I want ghosts running around my school but to be honest, I would never mind it if it was the only way to make Natsume forget what he saw.

I saw him turned around quickly and closed our door.

I slumped deeper on the bench and closed my eyes, my arms around me protectively.

Oh god, I want the floor to swallow me up. Or a sudden hurricane appear on the school grounds. Or the ghosts I've been talking about to drag me to their graves. Or a cannibal to eat me up.

Okay that was disgusting but heck, if it was the only way to reverse what happened earlier, I would offer myself with cherries on top.

I was kidding.

So I was there, slumped on the bench, looking like a defeated warrior. Maybe to some teenagers out there, they would think that it was really not a big deal. Why not? Movies and chick flicks all over the world contain scenes where teens are just clad on bikinis, or their undies only. What's more, sex scenes are all over those kind of movies.

But to me, it isn't.

My body was supposed to be for my soon-to-be boyfriend only. For my first and last boyfriend. For my husband.

But now that Natsume have seen it… No, NO. I won't think about it. I would never think about it. With a resolved sigh, I quickly wore my brassiere, limped to my locker as fast as my swelling foot can go, and changed in my clothes. I took out my first aid kit and attended the swell on my ankle. After bandaging it, I grabbed my backpack and went out of the room. I was just closing the door behind when Tsubasa grabbed me on my shoulders, turned me around to face him, and asked what happened, a worried expression on his face.

My eyes quickly scanned the gym and I saw Natsume not standing a few meters from us. When I saw his crimson eyes trained on me, I quickly diverted my gaze to Tsubasa, fighting with all my might the blush creeping on my cheeks.

"Mikan, are you all right? What happened? I was on the showers when I heard you screaming. Are you okay?" He said to me.

I opened my mouth and cleared my throat.

"N-no. Nothing happened. I-I saw a spider inside and accidentally h-hit some metal box inside." I said, stuttering.

I saw Tsubasa heaved a sigh then straightened up when he saw my foot.

"What happened to your ankle?" Tsubasa said, crouched down and examined my right ankle.

I saw Natsume straightened up and looked at my direction from the corner of my eye when he heard Tsubasa exclaimed about my foot.

"I'm okay, Tsubasa. It's nothing. J-just a swelling but it'll be gone in no time." I told him, urging him to stand up. He did and said, "If you say so. Just tell me if it's hurting again, okay. Come on, I'll walk you to your class."

Then he noticed Natsume for the first time.

"Oh, Hyuuga. Didn't notice you were there." He said. I saw Natsume just looked at him briefly then looked at me, to my ankle, and then back to my hazel eyes, his gaze lingering on me. There's something on his expression that told me he's concerned. I looked away again, feeling the heat up on my nape. Geez, why does he have those scary-looking, mesmerizing crimson eyes? It's insane.

Yeah, you're insane for thinking he has mesmerizing eyes, said my subconscious.

I cleared my throat, gripped the pads of my backpack, then told Tsubasa that we have to go because I have to do my assignment in Algebra first before the first class starts.

He nodded understandingly at me, smiled good-naturedly at Natsume and walked away, holding my left elbow. I could still feel Natsume's gaze on my back like a nail digging deeper through a concrete.

I closed my eyes and hoped that Natsume would just forget all about what he saw earlier. He should. HE MUST. If I know he saw half-naked girls as many as the pages I read in my novels.

* * *

I forked my pasta and ate it without much enthusiasm.

"Are my eyes deceiving me? The Sakura Mikan not eating like a pig?" My friend, Anna Umenomiya, said jokingly.

I looked at her sharply and sighed. My friends and I are eating at the cafeteria for lunch. Anna, Nonoko, ordered the same: Grilled beef on white sauce with mashed potatoes and Milkshake. Hotaru ordered just like always: Crab-melt canapes with garden salad and Latte. And I ordered, well, just Pasta al Pesto. To be honest, I was a bit surprised also when I saw those mouth-watering dishes in our cafeteria nad my stomach didn't jump excitedly.

Must be the nerves, huh.

"I just don't feel like eating." I told them, poking my pasta.

I saw a flash before my eyes. "Hotaru, why is that?" I asked her, my brows furrowing.

She just shrugged, her beautiful short hair bobbing to side. "Nothing. Just want to remember this day when Mikan Sakura didn't have the heart to eat." She said callously. Anna and Nonoko giggled.

I rolled my eyes. Friends.

"Look, you guys. You must be happy 'cause I'm not targeting your food." I joked at them. Nonoko chuckled, "Actually, it was kind of weird to be in the same table with you and knowing you're not eating your food and _our_ food." Anna nodded teasingly. "Hotaru agrees too and–" Anna started but stopped mid-sentence, staring something at my back.

Nonoko looked up and she also stopped from chewing her food, staring also something at our back. Hotaru looked at the two, looked behind us, looked at me with her intelligent violet eyes for a few seconds then resumed her eating. I looked at my friends oddly. Then I also noticed how the whole cafeteria hushed from that normally loud place to just low murmurs from the students. Weird. The cafeteria never experienced a silent moment. What's happening?

"Hey, guys? What is it?" I asked them. My friends continued to look at my back. I turned around. And almost lost the grip of the fork I was holding.

Natsume Hyuuga, _The_ Natsume Hyuuga who is also known to never set foot on the school's cafeteria (because you know what will happen, if ever), is inside. With his friends Ruka Nogi, Kokoro Yome, and Kitsune Me.

Heading to our table. To our direction.

And he's holding something.

I could feel myself freezing from the spot. What is he doing here? I thought to myself, silently panicking.

I did not see him the whole day. The last was at the gym.

UH-OH. GYM. NATSUME. ME. LOCKER ROOM. Everything crashed in on me again. I tried my best to forget about it and luckily, I did.

Not until I saw that guy again (who saw me in that utterly embarrassing state).

I felt my breath hitched and stuck on my throat. I tried to turn around but I'm having difficulties moving. Darn, not now.

Closer and closer, I saw Natsume walk in our table until he is standing just a few inches away from me. His crimson gaze trained at me and no one else. I gulped and thanked the gods of voices when I found it, "You need anything, Natsume?" I squeaked.

Natsume crouched in front of me so close. He was so close I could smell that undeniable sexy scent he always has; that faint, aftershave minty scent. He smells like spring break. Or the first of summer. Or-

I was sent back to reality when I saw him pull my right leg gently, put it on his crouched left leg, and slowly tug up my pants, revealing the swell I had. I could feel the heat on my neck creeping up.

I saw him clench his jaw when he saw the injury. He then lightly removed the bandage I made earlier and when I realized what he was doing I hissed at him, trying to pull back my leg. "What are you doing, Natsume? Stop it. I had it bandaged and it was okay!"

He looked at me with his crimson eyes, telling me something like 'Just shut up,'. "It's not," he said then returned to his ministrations.

"No, Natsume. Stop it. I'm telling you, it's fine. You don't have to do this." I tried pulling back my leg but his grasp on my leg is tight. But not too tight to hurt.

He looked up at me annoyingly and said, "Will you just stop struggling and let me finish so you can go back to what you're doing? You're making it longer than necessary." He said with that annoying, smug way of his.

I groaned helplessly and realized that he was right. If Natsume wanted to do this, nothing can stop him. I'm just making it hard for us. So I sighed then grumbled, "Fine. Do whatever you want." I said and crossed my arms in my chest stubbornly.

I saw him smirk. Oh, how I wanted to smack that smirk off his handsome face. God, he was frustrating as always!, I grunted on my head.

After a few minutes, I felt something cool on my ankle. It spread across my thigh and leg. It was so relaxing and I felt like my ankle is not swelling like before. I looked down at him to see what he was doing and saw that he saw already rolling back down my pants. He stood up, looked at me, and said, "You should not walk much on that leg and as much as possible, always lift that ankle of yours when you have the chance."

I looked at with narrowed eyes and said, "Yeah, I know. I'm an athlete, too, Natsume. I'm not dumb."

He smirked that annoying, attractive smirk of his, a knowing look on his eyes. Like he knows something everyone does not.

WHICH HE REALLY DOES.

"Really, Polkadots." He smirked then turned around, pocketing his hands on his jeans, strutting out the cafeteria like nothing happened, like he was the King of the Campus. Which he really is.

Arrogant.

Oh wait. Something he said was…

Polka… dots.

Polkadots.

Polkadots.

POLKADOTS?!

I felt my blush all the way from the tips of my hair till the toes on my feet. It's like I'm going to burst from the heat I'm feeling all the way.

THAT PERVERT! I exploded.

* * *

**Normal POV**

The news that Natsume Hyuuga stepped inside the cafeteria, (his least disliked place in school mainly because his fan girls will corner him like sick beasts of the Northern Forest) and took care of Mikan's injury spread all over the school like a wildfire.

"Did you hear that Natsume-sama attended Sakura-san's injury? Oh my god, he's so sweet! I wonder if I'd get an injury myself and he'll take care of me, too?" A girl giggled.

"Idiot! He won't do that because he does not know you! If I were Sakura-san, I would have jumped on him and hugged Natsume-sama while he's inches away from me. Oooh, that once in a lifetime chance!" Her friend cooed.

And it went on and on that it grated Mikan's nerves to no end.

"Gee, why are those girls like that? I can't believe they're acting like that over some insignificant event," She huffed frustratingly, pulling the straps of her backpack tightly.

"As the saying goes, 'If you can take him, you can have him.' Those prisses live by that quote. Truly insane, I believe." Hotaru spoke in that soft voice of hers.

Anna shook her head slowly. "We cannot blame them, Mikan. Natsume really is the biggest catch on campus. And to think that he was attending to your needs like a dutiful boyfriend! Su-weet!" She sighed dreamily.

Mikan's forehead furrowed in confusion at Anna as she pointedly said, "He is not my boyfriend, Anna. You know that. I'm just his friend, the only girl he's comfortable with since day one so I don't see the big deal in here."

Mikan Sakura was heading to her last class, Creative Arts & Music, with her friends, who also have the same class as hers. They reached the designated room, went in, and seated themselves to their assigned seats.

Unfortunately for Mikan, Natsume Hyuuga is her seatmate in this class. They were assigned at the backmost part of the class, to Mikan's dismay.

Mikan took her backpack off as she reached her seat and pushed it under the table. Aftera few moments, Mr. Narumi, their professor in this class, went in, clapping his hands together.

"Okay, okay, class. Settle down! We will start our class in a few minutes. Just let me get my organizer because I have some exciting announcements to make." He said enthusiastically, his crystal blue eyes twinkling in merriment. He set down his bag on the teacher's table as he rummaged his bag for his famous pink Organizer.

Mikan looked at Hotaru, who is seated not far away from her, and tried to catch her attention to ask what Mr. Narumi was talking about. But Hotaru was busy reading her Physics workbook. Anna and Nonoko was assigned at the front of the class so it was impossible for her talk to them. She sighed and slumped back on her chair.

Mr. Narumi sat up again, saying, "Here it is, my dears! So, is anyone excited to know what will be the events this coming Winter?" Half of the class cheered.

Mr. Narumi nodded his head with eagerness, "That's really good! I'm glad to hear that. Now, on the mid-week of next month, we will –" He stopped as the classroom's door opened unceremoniously, revealing Natsume, Ruka, Koko, and Kitseneme.

Mr. Narumi folded his arms on his chest, a wide smile on his face. "Why, thank you for gracing your presence here with us today, Natsume. You too, Ruka, Koko and Kitsuneme. And thank you for being late. I presume you have a valid reason why it happened?" Mr. Narumi asked, his eyebrows rising.

Natsume just looked at him, his face expressionless, then started toward his seat without much of a backward glance.

Ruka quickly explained that they had an emergency meeting at the Soccer Team with Coach Misaki and they had their excuse letter with them.

"Thank you, Ruka. Now go and be seated." Mr. Narumi said with a smile, tucking the paper inside his jacket pocket.

Mikan was busy rummaging her bag under the table, looking for her yet again missing fountain pen, when Natsume took his seat beside her, startling her when he said, "Hey, Polka." And Mikan jumped, startled, causing her to bump her head on the table with a sound loud enough to hear Natsume.

"Ow!" She yelped.

She heard Natsume smirked and she glared at him. "What do you want, Natsume? Mind you own business, will you?" She eyed him sharply then returned to her search.

"Ah! Found it!" Mikan exclaimed. She resumed her seat and was about to uncap her pen when Natsume started yet again. "That's the 'Thank you' I get, Polka?" He said teasingly, his lips curving into a deeper smirk.

Mikan fought the blush overcoming her. She turned her head sharply to him so fast that her brown tresses fell on the side of her face, past her left shoulders. Her silver-specked hazel eyes glinting precariously against the light, locking Natsume's gaze on hers. "Will you stop calling me that, you Pervert!" She hissed through her teeth, trying to low down her voice so Mr. Narumi won't hear.

She did not realize that Natsume had gone still, looking at her with his intense crimson eyes.

She continued, "And can you please forget about what happened earlier? I did not know you were such a big pervert! Capital P, mind you! God, how I love to kick you on your shin right now and experience a weeklong broken leg," she spat.

Then something caught her eye. His gaze. His crimson eyes. His deep, somewhat mesmerizing gaze that robbed her of her ability to breathe. Mikan's eye slightly widen at the sight and before she could decipher the meaning of his gaze, he looked away.

Mikan blinked and straightened up her seat, wondering if what she was a trick from the light.

Clearing her throat awkwardly, she started again, "H-hey! Didn't you hear what I just said? Because of you, Natsume Hyuuga, I would never have a husband! Nor a boyfriend! Ever! So the best thing you could do now is to forget about it and stop calling me ridiculous names! Do you understand me?" she hollered at him, huffing her cheeks in frustration.

Natsume flicked a glance at her interestingly. With a slow smirk reaching his lips, he bent down leisurely at Mikan's face until they were inches apart.

'W-what are you doing, Pervert!" He was close, so close that Mikan could feel Natsume's breath on her face.

"Make me, Polka." Was what he said. Then he pulled back slowly, a small smile curving on the corner of his lips, his eyes alight teasingly.

And Mikan exploded. Clenching her fists on her side, she stood up and bawled at him. "Why you, little jerk! You have no –"

"Thank you very much, Mikan, for volunteering at the Winter Ball Dance Competition!" Mr. Narumi announced in the class and the whole class cheered.

Mikan stopped in mid-sentence and turned around, the whole class looking at her. With a sweatdrop, she laughed with embarrassment. The Winter Ball is an annual event of the school, symbolizing the upcoming Christmas season. All the students, except the freshmen who has a retreat instead of the Ball, and the faculty are invited. The Winter Ball is not just a dance ball. It has a Dance Competition where all Creative Arts & Music classes join in. The winner will receive 300,000 Rabbits plus a plus grade on each subject enrolled. Sure, Mikan can dance, but she never dreamt of being in the Dance Competition. She gulped at the expectant look of Mr. Narumi and her classmates.

"U-uhm. Sure, Mr. Narumi." She agreed weakly.

The class erupted in cheer, applauding. "I knew you won't turn me down, Mikan. Thank you, dear! You can now seat again. " Mr. Narumi clapped jovially, laughing.

Mikan slumped back on her chair in defeat. Mr. Narumi must be crazy to think I could win that competiion, Mikan thought. She was so into her thoughts that she almost missed hearing Natsume's chuckling. She turned around harshly from him, determined to not talk to him ever again.

After all, he was the reason why Mikan would be the class' representative to the Dance Competition. Mikan gritted her teeth at the tought.

Mr. Narumi cut Mikan's thinking.

"Oh, by the way, your partner would be Ruka Nogi," Mr. Narumi said. The class broke out laughing, hooting. Ruka had this _"Whaaat?"_ expression on his already red face and the whole class laughed more.

Mr. Narumi continued, ignoring the class' jibes. "The theme of the Dance is 'Your Body Is A Wonderland'. Don't blame me, dears. I was not the one who came up with it. Anyway, as your instructor and adviser, I would like the both of you to dance..." Mr. Narumi paused for a moment, his right index tapping his chin lightly.

'Ah! An Argentine Tango."

The whole class gasped. Mikan's eye widened like saucers. Ruka's mouth hung like a dislocated screw. Natsume eyes tilted dangerously in a slit.

_Argentine Tango?_ The Latin dance where the dancers are like _making love on stage_?

OH NO.

* * *

**A/N:** How was it, how was it? :-) You know that I would always love to hear from you! Thank you guys in advance! Love you all like a long song, baby! :-* Sweet criticisms are accepted but positive reviews are much craved! See you on the next chap!

**_Leave a mark. XX,_**

**_Alyx Hawthorne_**


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